Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize