Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
