I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Bring me that man meat
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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