Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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