Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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