So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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