is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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