I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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