i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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