I am puke
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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