This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
