Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
try to milk me bitch
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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