roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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