She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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