hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
pop tarts are not kleenex
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
