You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
