Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
