I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
