Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'll alert the authorities

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  (513): someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet (330): I'll alert the authorities http://tfl.nu/v6wq
  Replies (8) Good night (1379) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  she looks like luggage that fell from a plane

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  (217): she looks like luggage that fell from a plane http://tfl.nu/yvwr
  Replies (5) Good night (656) Bad night (2522)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.

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  (856): would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions. http://tfl.nu/8b19
  Replies (5) Good night (3067) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.

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  (631): And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic. http://tfl.nu/6fkc
  Replies (9) Good night (4248) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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  (401): The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster. http://tfl.nu/0ncd
  Replies (16) Good night (1155) Bad night (5011)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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  (414): It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga http://tfl.nu/cqgc
  Replies (20) Good night (1049) Bad night (4736)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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  (806): A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal" (501): Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him... http://tfl.nu/wsps
  Replies (15) Good night (6163) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.

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  (651): how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts. http://tfl.nu/ixjv
  Replies (634) Good night (5601) Bad night (6565)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it

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  (585): you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it http://tfl.nu/37fg
  Replies (17) Good night (4626) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea

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  (828): yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea http://tfl.nu/why3
  Replies (9) Good night (2282) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

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  (214): My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you http://tfl.nu/i385
  Replies (12) Good night (4015) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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  (419): who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/wlxq
  Replies (9) Good night (2756) Bad night (1382)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...

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  (507): I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though... http://tfl.nu/ukj5
  Replies (5) Good night (1330) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone

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  (585): Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone http://tfl.nu/e7f7
  Replies (0) Good night (575) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.

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  (303): Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super. http://tfl.nu/a5le
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (312)

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