I want to stick my p in your. b.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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