I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world