the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball