you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.