I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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