I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist