Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.

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(409): It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself. http://tfl.nu/yf3o

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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(616): I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night. http://tfl.nu/m0ls

Replies (68) Good night (2195) Bad night (4018)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!

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(503): i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly! http://tfl.nu/tm2j

Replies (63) Good night (8251) Bad night (3405)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.

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(314): I hated hipsters before it was mainstream. http://tfl.nu/p566

Replies (32) Good night (6395) Bad night (1341)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.

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(860): failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm. http://tfl.nu/gfgw

Replies (13) Good night (4977) Bad night (1644)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

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(267): I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night. http://tfl.nu/8jcd

Replies (12) Good night (2201) Bad night (1082)
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(716): View more from New York

He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex

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(716): He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex http://tfl.nu/jqzk

Replies (5) Good night (2987) Bad night (1083)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.

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(+44): I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/4in5

Replies (6) Good night (813) Bad night (1478)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people

(763): View more from Minnesota

and u failed math?

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(651): 2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people (763): and u failed math? http://tfl.nu/331s

Replies (20) Good night (3004) Bad night (807)
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(770): View more from Georgia

ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!

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(770): ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!! http://tfl.nu/fv9p

Replies (8) Good night (898) Bad night (450)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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(541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl

Replies (28) Good night (3977) Bad night (940)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.

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(832): You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life. http://tfl.nu/rg4t

Replies (3) Good night (1225) Bad night (604)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.

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(+44): I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal. http://tfl.nu/i10i

Replies (8) Good night (1329) Bad night (356)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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(225): I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys. http://tfl.nu/a4f0

Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (628)
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(408): View more from California

I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary

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(408): I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary http://tfl.nu/kxfy

Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (328)

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