I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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