no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
