it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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