About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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