Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
