I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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