honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
