not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Drake has all the answers
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
