Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Cover your peen. We're going out.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
