If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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