Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
