so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
