I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
