We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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