we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
