I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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