I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
