hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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