I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
