It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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