is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
