hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
