WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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