My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
