I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
