is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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