He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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