What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
