hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
