My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
