im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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