Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
