just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
