i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
