Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
