my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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