Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
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I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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