I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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