we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
