His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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