Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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