and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
