The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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