Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
