I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
