According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
