Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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