We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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